beewon & beetoo

Catching up

2008-03-13T15:53:00.003-04:00

wow, i havent posted anything in a LONG time, except for the army ball picture that is. anyhow, things have been pretty dull. Internet at home still sucks. Every time i want to post something, it stalls on me. GRRR.

I'm wasting time at the library now, waiting for my 3.30pm class. its my last class for today, luckily. its an hour and a half long class too, hope i dont fall asleep i it( i've done that).So lately, i've been baking and cooking at home. its surprisingly something i enjoy doing. who would have thought that i would be good at baking and cooking? i actually made cheesecake, and it was good. it actually tasted like cheesecake from Coffeebean or something. lol. i'm probably giving myself WAAAAY too much credit.

Spring break starts tomorrow, and there is nothing else i would love to do than to just relax tonight, but noooo, have a paper due tomorrow. sigh. at least its a short paper and i can probably do it in one night.

I've learned something else too. never judge people. i admit, i judge people by how they look, and there are a few people who you just love to dislike the minute you see them. but looks are deceiving. just because all you see is a blonde with poufy hair, and sweatpants, and the ever present sorority letters on anything they're wearing, that doesnt mean that they aren't smart or intelligent people. heck, most of them might be smarter than me.

i'm pretty sure about that.

freeze.(drooling over her cake)

tap that

2008-02-29T13:43:00.002-05:00

it still cracks me up when i see girls with made up "messy" hair, huge shades, fitted hoodies and snow boots. usually, blonde, but that's subjective. they're blonde in the head. well that's just a past time of mine.

i've been really really really busy with school. the exams and homework have taken my soul. haven't been home much in the past few days because of darned codes and algorithms and theorems and nerdspeak etc. i look horrible, and am probably in a horrible state but i don't feel horrible. i'm pretty okay actually. ^^ i've got my EQ balanced out, and that's supporting my IQ right now. plus, i'm getting some admin done. hopefully, it'll help out.

aside from that, it's friday and it's the start of a new week of homework. yes, my hw starts at the end of the week. pffft. i don't have decided weekdays and weekends. isn't that gross? you don't really wanna be an engineering student, now do you? mauhauhauaha. well, it's tough as hell, you better believe it. i'm really questioning my ability to graduate in 4 years, what with the toughness of the courses. i'm not stupid, no. i wouldn't say weak either. but, 4 years is still a fast track for engineering students. well, we'll see. i'm just gna have to work it out somehow.

speakin o which i have lecture to attend now. so i shall blog more next time. when i can. harharhar. and i will make an effort to post pictures too.

peace!

~nana

this time around

2008-01-23T19:29:00.000-05:00

ooo i wish i have recent pictures of myself/us. its been awhile since i posted any images up, i know. its odd to take vanity pictures. completely different from life perspective. harharhar. well i'll try. anyway, wassup orang brunei? sir E, you havent replied any of my emails for a long time. everything alright there, in the office?

well, i'm currently at the library, doing some work, after work. hahahaha. yeah, funny, i know. might as well since i can do my homework here in a conducive environment. my schedule's really packed these few weeks. people have been trying to get a hold of me, to no avail. so sorry about that, especially the family. my phone battery died and whatnot. the timing's just not right. well hopefully this weekend will be better. i should be free-er by then. hopefully.

so far so good. i'm enjoying my classes. finally, something to challenge the mind. i remember being bored out of my mind last semester. its a different kind of thinking. and i realized i kinda suck at arithmetic. well, kind is underrated. my brainpower has shifted to more abstract stuff. mauahauhaua. i still can't say much about engineering classes because we haven't really gotten down and dirty yet, but its coming on really quick. circuits, gates, bits and stuff. i like, i like. though i think i'm more of a software person than a hardware person. but who knows. we'll see.

so school is cool. the house is cool too, though i'm not really home most of the time because of school. but the girls are getting into a tighter knit group though. so that's awesome. i hope we'll all still be 'sisters' after this year. so yeah.

fun- wise, i've got a good balance. been hanging out with friends and dancing and stuff. mostly practice though, because we have shows coming up. i wonder if i've said this too many times. heheh. anyway, i'm pretty well off. winter's here. the temperature's not dropping much anymore after this, thank goodness.

more next time.

~nana

life this first weekend

2008-01-19T16:32:00.001-05:00

well, i didn't realize there were quite a few comments posted on my last post. i apologize for not keeping up to date, but there are just so many 'significant' web links i have to click everyday. i'm beginning to wonder if i'm super nerdy happy to get sucked into this vortex of digitalized life or if i'm complaining about the hassle of this juggling act.

needless to say, the first week went pretty well. i started studying pronto and did most of the homework once they were posted up. my friend Elena said i'm so gungho, but i'm really just trying to prevent falling behind because i really don't want to drop any of my courses. so yes, i'm taking on an unnatural load and combination of courses and was advised to drop one of them, but i'll see how it goes midway into semester. i know what i'm getting myself into.

i watched Cloverfield with some friends last night. it was good for up to 15 min, when i started gagging. bloody handycam documentaries are not good for me. and i wasn't the only one who got motion sickness. albeit i have a more sensitized reaction, but the other girls weren't ok till about half the movie. the boys, of course, thought they were watching a counterstrike mode alien movie. o well. at least i managed to restrain myself and i didn't puke at all. though i did bruise my left thumb from rubbing my chest throught the whole movie. yeah trying not to puke distracted me from the pain of too much friction. that bad. i must say if the movie was better filmed, ie not as shaky, i'd say it was really good. the plot is there, the characters are interesting.

oh i'm quite excited about breakdancing (yes i'm still bboying) because we have several shows coming up and we're practicing our routines now. its tough, but oh so awesome. people would say our moves are dangerous. and they somewhat are but they're so cool to watch and do. heheheh. more on that next time.

did i mention i'm the only girl in all my discussion sections? yes, i am. boy to girl ratio is 15:1. how lucky i am.

overwhelmed

2008-01-14T22:08:00.000-05:00

blah. such a touchy feely pastel title for a blog post.

anyway. today was the first day o spring semester and it was very very cold. windchill was 4 deg Fahrenheit by the time i got back around 6.30pm. suffice to say, it was a very cold day today. classes were interesting. new professors, new faces, new stuff to learn. at least i wasn't wandering around not knowing which buildings were which. yeah, i had that upperhand. pfffttt.

still, the textbook prices dropped a bomb on me. one course = one textbook = average of $130. and i have 4 courses this semester. i never really thought about it but i had to cough up my own money just for books and stationary. per semester. its soooooo expensuv here, dahlings. besides that, there are so much more readings this semester, like omigod, like i'm so overwhelmed right now, like omigod. yeah, who would've thought that technical electives required more readings than humanities or arts courses. i already have a lot of things to read up on, online and offline.

what i'm pretty amazed is the use of websites as the main reference for our classes. most of the courses here has its own website that the students can/must refer to for syllabus, homework, grades, etc It the THE bible of of every course. i'm just amazed. if only classes back home were this efficient, a lot of people would be able to attain knowledge and study from home/work etc. its just really convenient and efficient. online studying. yeh baybeh.

but that means i have more things to read on top of my textbooks, notes and supplemental readings. pfffffftttt.

so, it was interesting, from a different perpective.

its gna be a busy term, indeed.

memories

2008-01-11T23:26:00.000-05:00

I had a dream last night. It stirred up past memories, memories that i have tried to forget ever since. Memories that make me feel sad every time i think of them. I dreamt about a guy i used to know. This guy was the guy that i wanted to end up with, the guy that i wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I've tried for the last 4 months to forget about him, to forget about everything that we had, everything that we once shared. I've had 4 months to forget about the movie dates, the coffee dates, and the random meetings at random hours. The dream woke up all these dormant memories. and i hate it. I dislike the past. I prefer thinking of the present and the future, instead of thinking back about what has already happened and i can't change. I wish i could travel back in time, and change some decisions i made, decisions that i now regret making.

Basically, in the dream, the guy asked me to go back together with him. He told me that he wanted a relationship with me. An open relationship. The kind that we never had. The kind of relationship that i had hoped and prayed for. and in that dream, i felt happy. deliriously happy. happy that my dreams had finally come true. then i woke up. it sucked realizing that it was only a dream, and that it will never, ever happen. period.

-freeze@beetoo

reply to beewon

2008-01-08T07:39:00.000-05:00

first of all, thanks beewon.

secondly, i have tried letting go of the past. i did try. but then when i thought i had finally done it, it comes right back up and slaps me in the face. i was right, and i'm proven right again. so i guess that's that.

i asked for a break. i guess i need time to think.i need time to be alone. i just want to crawl into a small space, and just think. to be honest ( i hate that word now), i want to see how life would be on my own. i barely slept last night, and i woke up after 3 hours of unsettling sleep. i still dont feel better. i though i would feel saner or less muddle headed on a break. do i give up too easily? but that's how i protect myself. i've learned that the best way to protect yourself against hurt is to never let anyone close enough to hurt you.

i do realise that people will wonder what the heck i'm talking about, but that's ok. lets just say that beetoo is in desperate need of comforting chicken and indomee.

freeze@beetoo

conversations between beeone and beetoo

2008-01-08T00:20:00.000-05:00

no, you do not have a mental illness. the state of questioning your sanity is proof of your sanity. quoted from law and order CI. besides, its just conflict between your ethos and logos. maybe it is just time to re-evaluate your priorities in life.

you've set goals for yourself and you've followed that path truly devoted and convinced, so much so that you've forgotten what you were doing. perhaps it is time to rediscover what makes life worth living, again. do things that you used to do. as corny and wishy washy as this sounds, its really just a re-evaluating process. going back to the start and doing things fresh again.

i know its hard to just start clean, when you're still holding on to so many things at the moment. if only it was as easy as the backspace button, huh? but no, people don't work that way. but if you are determined enough, you know you can achieve that level of awareness. you may think you are a pessimist, but it is a matter of belief. what do you really believe about yourself. and my dear Pisang Dua, there is a distinct line between pessimism and realism. just think about it.

i hope i'm not too preach-y. i know my words of ~~wisdom~~ advice come out a bit stern/judgemental/harsh sometimes, but i mean well. as always, don't be too hard on yourself. give yourself time. you deserve it. okeh?

^^

ups and downs

2008-01-07T21:40:00.000-05:00

early warning. beetoo is in a sentimental mood so be aware reading this.

year 2008 is here. a new book to write in,with all those empty pages just waiting to be filled with memories that have yet to happen. i wonder what will happen this year. will it be the same as year 2007? all things considered, last year wasn't exactly sunshine and roses. neither was year 2006. to be honest, the past two years have been the worst years of my life. i wonder whether 2008 will follow the same route as the previous ones. somehow, i have a feeling that it will. is this just me being pessimistic?

sometimes i wonder, is this it? is this really what i worked so hard for? i'm content with what i have and where i am now, but sometimes i just feel that something is missing. but i don't know what. i don't know why i feel so restless sometimes. lets be honest, most of the time. maybe i have a mental illness? i really hope not.

-beetoo@freeze

high time

2007-12-22T17:26:00.000-05:00

its about time i made another appearance here. i've been trying to upload images and saving em for one mega picture post. again, the internet let me down. so words will have to suffice for now.

school's over for a week now. freeze and i have been working at the main library to just keep ourselves busy. i was pretty ecstatic because its my FIRST paying job ever. how cool is that. muahauhauahauahauhauha. my job is to basically shelve incoming books. its not all that simple because our library is super huge (3rd largest in the states) with, if i recall....10 frickin million books. i'm serious. you can look it up if you don't believe me. so we had to learn the classification system and where everything is. ooweee i was surrounded by musty 'ol books all day. most o the time, i'm on my own shelving books. everyone just picks their own deck to work on and start shelving. its a pretty isolatory experience. mindless too, considering all you have to do is follow numbers. i've been thinking in dewey decimals all week. its pretty mind boggling, to think in numbers and decimals and alphabets. interesting, but my sanity was beginning to crumble. i worked from 8.30am til 5pm, with only a 30min lunch break. so yes. it was back breaking. i don't recommend doing the job for more than a full week. my legs ache and my neck is a little strained. damn those high shelves. pfffft.

so yeah. i work in a frickin library! =) aside from that, xmas break is here so i'm at home cleaning my room. its a right disgusting mess, it is. then i'm off to chicago from the 26th onwards til new year. see new sights, meet some friends, eat different food, experience chi-town. yeah babe. i think i'm looking forward to the city.

well nothing much else is happening. i'm learning C when i can. its so nifty to be able to say i know programming. miuahauahuhauhauahua. oh and our final grades are out. decent, if i don't say so. nothing less than a B. pretty much what i expected, so no surprises there for me. now all i gotta do is keep on working and work my way up the gpa.

weather's been pretty warm after the last snowfall. its supposed to snow an inch tonight. o well. at least i wouldnt have to trod in puddles anymore. =)

false promises

2007-12-22T12:33:00.002-05:00

i came across this song by ungu, an indonesian band, titled "kekasih gelapku". the lyrics for the song are below:

Ku mencintaimu, lebih dari apapun
Meskipun tiada satu orang pun yang tahu
Ku mencintaimu, sedalam-dalam hatiku
Meskipun engkau hanya kekasih gelapku...

Ku tahu ku takkan selalu ada untukmu
Disaat engkau merindukan diriku
Ku tahu ku takkan bisa memberikanmu waktu
Yang panjang dalam hidupku

Yakinlah bahwa engkau adalah cintaku
Yang ku cari selama ini dalam hidupku
Dan hanya padamu ku berikan sisa cintaku
Yang panjang dalam hidupku...

Ku mencintaimu, lebih dari apapun
Meskipun tiada satu orang pun yang tahu
Ku mencintaimu, sedalam-dalam hatiku
Meskipun engkau hanya kekasih gelapku...

when i heard this song, i felt incredulous disbelief. i mean, i might have loved this song a few months back, but then, its stupid. if she is the person who he loves most in the world more than anything or anyone, then why isn't he with her? why is she his "mistress" instead of his gf? does this make sense to anyone? if you truly love that person, you would be willing to do anything to be with that someone, and not just whine about how much you love that person but you can't be with them! life's too short. stop wishing stuff like you wished you met him/her before you met your current partner.make a choice.

P.S: i know i'm ranting about nonsense, but it makes sense for me :)

-beetoo@ freeze

my enemy is back

2007-12-18T21:08:00.000-05:00

Its that time again. results are coming out. my econ exam results came out. i got a B-, which people say isn't that bad. but it is for me. as much as i act all flippant and unworried about my exams, i do worry. i know that its one of my weaknesses, that is i'm never satisfied with what i get unless its the best that i can get. but is that so bad? to want to be and to do the best that i can?
I'm really upset about that grade. that's all i can say.

the holiday season has come

2007-12-17T22:31:00.000-05:00

well, this is it. it's december, and its snowing. this has been the one thing that i was excited about when i was coming here, seeing snow. well, i've seen it, and undoubtedly it has made me happy. but what i didnt count on was the holiday season. people going home, to celebrate the holiday with their families and loved ones. and what am i doing? nothing. the highlight of my day now is going to CRCE, for a workout, and we all know how much i enjoy that(not!). the holiday cheer that i initially felt because school was out is replaced by a feeling of loneliness. this may be because there are only three of us in the house now, and one of them is leaving on wednesday. then it'll be just the two of us.alone in the house.

i remember when i was in Chicago the last time, i saw a homeless man for the first time. i cant describe what i felt when i saw him. it just seemed so unreal. there he was, his clothes all tattered,using a plastic bag as protection from the pelting rain. all the while, he was surrounded by shops that boasted the fanciest and most expensive things that you can imagine. it seemed so ludicrous.

seeing that made me feel thankful for all the things i have and the people i love. i guess the world can be cruel, although maybe it isn't the world at fault, maybe its the people in it. i learned one thing though. Giving just $5 to those who need it more than i do brightened up my day, from the "God Bless you" that i received in return.

I shall not pass this way again...

2007-12-11T13:08:00.001-05:00

I read this article in our school's newspaper and found it quite appropriate.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For years, The Daily Illini used to publish the following editorial on the first day of finals each semester.

And it came to pass.
Early in the morning toward the
last
day of the semester,
There arose a great multitude
smiting the books and wailing.
And there was much weeping and
Gnashing of teeth,
For the day of judgement was at hand
And they were sore afraid, for they
had left undone
Those things which they ought not to
have done,
And there was no help for it.
And there were many abiding in the dorms
Who had kept watch over their books
by night,
But it availed them naught.
But some there were who rose peacefully,
For they had prepared themselves the way
And made straight paths of knowledge.
And these were known
As wise burners of the midnight oil.
And to other they were known as
"curve raisers."
And the multitude arose
And ate a hearty breakfast.
And they came unto the appointed
place
And their hearts were heavy
And they had come to pass,
But some of them
Repented of their riotous living and
bemoaned their fate,
But they had not a prayer.
And at the last hour there came
among them
One known as the instructor; and
they feared exceedingly.
He was of diabolical smile,
And he passed papers among them
and went his way.
And many and varied
Were the answers given,
For some of his teaching has
fallen among fertile minds.
Others had fallen among the fallows,
While other had fallen flat.
And some there were who wrote for
one hour,
Others for two,
But some turned away sorrowful,
and many of these
Offered a little bull
In hopes of pacifying the instructor
And these were the ones who had
not a prayer.
And when they finished,
They gathered up their belongings
And went their way quietly, each in
his own direction,
And each vowing unto himself in
this manner: "I shall not pass this way again."

Daily Illini

nana is writing madly

2007-12-04T19:40:00.001-05:00

essays give me headaches. period.

and i thank god i won't have any (or not as much anyway) next semester.

wish me luck for my finals.

of intelligent conversations with intellectuals

2007-12-02T02:17:00.001-05:00

sometimes i wonder. what is purpose of studying overseas. i'm really glad to be where i am now, and not elsewhere. i'm not putting down other institutions of education, just the quality of life they offer. i suppose i am privileged. really. spoiled. lucky. whatever you call it. i worked my ass off here. i chose to come here. because this is where no other of my kind has ventured before.

honestly, what is the whole point of coming here if i know what to expect and who i'm going to meet? again, not stomping down on say, bruneians studying in the UK, but really, life could not get anything more interesting if i met the same people everyday and had the same classes as them. freeze and i had a discussion about this, quite a few times really, but we could not exhaust the topic. we see these groups of koreans going to the same classes and basically, living togethre every friggin day. how boring could that be. not to mention a waste o money and time. if you're going to be in a foreign country you've gotta at least experience new things.

that's how i see it. not being racist and all. but i just think its ridiculous to go to a new place and stick the same ol habits.

i wanna live and learn. so yeah. gimme the unknown anyday. the comfort zone has become boring and old news. its time to step outside our little bubbles and see what else is out there.

speakin o which, to date, i 've met (and know) frat guys, alcoholics, party addicts, potheads, nerds, geeks, druggies, musicians, dancers, sorority girls, and others. these are just bits of people's personalities which stand out to me. it does not mean that those terms define them though. everyone has a bigger side to their character, and one can never tell how intelligent (or not) a person is until they've really talked to them. it really is interesting to meet all kinds o people. you hear different perspectives and ideas and you begin to question yourself, who you really are and what you stand for. instead o just getting second rate and sometimes even fiction from the idiot box, i get to say i know things first hand because i've met these people.

so yes, i'm learning a lot and i dare say will continue to do so for a while. and if you're questioning my intentions and my actions here, i'm sorry to say you would never have known me at all if you doubt my character. or, you simply have trust issues that you need to fix. pffffffttt.

anyway, that aside, i've gotten an awesome compilation o music from a friend. daym. and i learned to live the dorm life today, thanks to freeze. i had dinner at a dorm. was so friggin fun. the buffet. omg. i hadnt had such good food in a long time. filling food that is. had pasta with fried vege and choc cake. well theres always the unhealthy side o dorm food. its a buffet, wadya expect. then we had late nights at another dorm. jeez the snacks and sodas galore. i *heart* how we're spoiled for choice here. the food. amazing. and no, we never had to compromise either. still sticking to fish and veges. we underestimated the variety o food they have here. they really do cater to everyting. would've been so much fun living in a dorm. but hey, this way, we get the best o both worlds cos we now know dorm people life and house people life, which is awesome.

i'm so stuffed right now. its hilarious. this is why i'm glad i dont live in a dorm because otherwise would be really pudgy right now. the days o starvation and poor food (i'm exaggerating) helped keep the weight normal. hahahaha. but yes. it is interesting to see how people manage to stay healthy living in dorms. its amazing.

right now, i really should be getting some sleep or some work done, but im digesting the remnants of my super filling meals. food coma!!!!! ^^

beewon cant sleep again

2007-11-26T03:13:00.000-05:00

crikey. here i am, typing in the dark again. tomorrow (or should i say today) is the first day of school after fall break and here i am, unsuccessful at my attempts to sleep. i need to friggin sleep so i can get up for my 8am class!!!!! but noooooo i've got insomnia again. blardy hell. must be all the excitement. i'm actually excited for classes to begin and all. i really will be sad when winter break comes. shows how much o a nerd i am.

so anyway, everyone's back in town again. i'm very relieved. i missed the company. basically, i had a pretty yoda-ish down time during fall break. the only excitement came on thanksgiving day itself. i woke up around 4 in the afternoon. yeah yeah ima nocturnal creature, it aint news to everyone by now. got invited to a friend's turkey dinner. the interesting part is that the dinner was held at 4am the following day. muauhauhua. yeah we cooked the turkey, gravy, mashed taters, soup etc around midnite. turns out im not the only nocturnal one after all. was really fun. i got to know new people and made new friends. thanks emily! she's the awesome one slaving away at the stove. scrumpilitious food indeed. she even cooked a fish serving especially for me. so sweet, that girl is.

so yeah. dinner was nice. watched the House series after that. and no i didnt sleep at all after that. continued in the waking hours, like a zombie of course. made a new friend spencer who took me around chambana and showed me interesting places. only the townies know best. so that was my thanksgiving experience.

and today, i saw human beings i sorely missed. though i wouldn't have thought i'd ever openly say 'i missed you', i sure did. yeah the housemates got back. so nice so see them again. and friends! had a sunday session with matt and colin. finally practiced breakin again. i think i've finally gotten over the introvertedness when it comes to dancing. seriously, nothing good ever came out from being shy. i couldnt practice or get better by holdin back. so yeah. i was actually dancing. really cool feeling, knowing that i've gotten over a hurdle. my only teeny problem (nah not really) is i called out matt. muahuahau. he's so gna kick my ass this wednesday. but hey, all in good fun. at least i'm getting to finally put myself on the spot and improve my moves.

i realize that you readers will not probably know who or what i'm talking about but thats okay. i really need to do something to try to sleep. and i'm really unsuccesful. really. i want to sleep. i got ready hours ago. have been in bed trying to get some shut eye. but noooooo i'm gna hafto be a zombie tmorow. with luck, i better be able to get up in time for my first class. i'd really hate to miss it. damn.

o dear. any ideas for curing insomnia? benadryl doesnt work anymore.

2007-11-22T11:06:00.000-05:00

Dont worry! beetoo still alive & kicking! pictures up soon. sorry i've been MIA. miss you guys at OSM.

story so far

2007-11-19T16:23:00.001-05:00

remember when i said that i owe everyone lotsa pictures and stories? yeah, here it is. except that they wont be in chronological order cos its too much work for me that way. hahaha.

that's moses, AMS, kind of the nerds, or so he calls himself. he's my buddy, who is 6 ft + tall, DJs, raps, locks, hacks pcs, and all that. we have sunday night study sessions, with amy and the occasional extra guest, like scott or freeze etc. he cool, man, he cool. so yes, ma, this is one o the people i hang out with. =) this picture was taken at a record shop, when he suddenly noticed his name is on a poster. woohoo.

we have plenty squirrels and birds here. they're so wild/tame (depends on how you see it) that one nearly jumped into my lap and steal my sandwich away. its not safe to eat outside, unless you feel like sharing w nature. mauhauahua.

and we have chalksters. this one is about pulling troops out of Iraq. its ironic, they only care when their people are at stake. otherwise, they'd still be pro-war. funny how perspective can influence one's decision eh.

sorry i didn't rotate the pic. but yeah. i just think that sometimes ignorance is a curse. and hypocrites are damned annoying.

that's anna, my housemate. she's a librarian, nutty, nerd, funny, a polyglot and fun to hang out with. we usually watch tv together. she likes to watch operas and classical concerts too. she taught me a lil german, and laughs at my attempts to speak german. thankyoovery much, anna.

that's james and freeze, even tho you cant really see her. the pose is because o a supposedly horror korean movie. its hilarious, the characters they put in the movie. so yeah, we copied it. by the way, these pictures were taken during my birthday gathering.

that's roberta helping me cut the cake. she's funny, has gerbils, is very sweet and fun to hang out with too. i believe that laughter is never absent from our conversations.

the nutty nutty crew at nevada house. thanks to everyone who celebrated with me!

o yeah. pizza, cookies, soda, choc cake, chocolate everything. sugar rush. i felt fat. really fat. thanks freeze!!!!!

o we had this activity at Krannert museum, and they had PostSecret exhibit!!!! o course, i put my secret on. =) o course i wont tell anyone what it is. but it really touched me when i saw all the posts. its out there, and its real.

one lazy sunday, i procrastinated and didnt get out o bed. i took pictures in my teeny dark room instead.

on the days that i actually make it to my 8am class early, im the first one to arrive. its dark and peaceful. i took this picture thinking i could use it for a deviantart entry. not really. im kinda losing touch. but yeah, thats the room that we use for rhet.

autumn! the trees are getting nekkid, and there are leaves everywhere. plus its windy and windier and very pretty. chilly and cold, but pretty. the weather's kinda unpredictable in the sense that its hot one day and cold another. so yeah. i like the windy days though. they just make me happy.

right now, its thanksgiving break and we have one week's holiday. almost everyone went home or travelled somewhere. im staying here to just chill and get some work done. finals are coming up and i wana feel prepared at least. pffft. its kinda lonely but its alright. nothing ive never been through. whats fun is not having to queue to buy mocha and doughtnuts. wakakakakakaka. and im sorry i havent been able to update more. the internet at home is still sucky, so that also explains why i havent been on msn, or IM, or blogging much. so excuse my tardiness.

enlighten me with news, chums. hows everyone out there? and thanks for the comment, viv. haha. good to know yer well. heard that you travelled to chicago jsut recently (mothers, tsk. hahaha). having fun eh? cool cool. and its nice to chat w kambo again. nice to see that guffaw. i can imagine the hearty chuckle behind the imac screen. and breakdancing is not funny!!! geez man. i really dont see whats so funny. pffftt. im getting good, so they say. well im gna try to be good, cos its not easy and its not often that girls breakdance. hmmm, also trying to start workin out or run. havent done that in months now. gained a lil weight, but healthy weight. at least it doesnt physically show if ya know whati mean. wakakakakaka.

o and i promise to take more pictures. i realize i dont have much to show. eh. more pictures o people. =) ta ta for now!

this is beewon calling home

2007-11-13T14:59:00.001-05:00

so here i am, in another computer lab on campus, taking advantage of what internet connection i have. tis sad. i'm using a mac because all the other buggers got the pcs first. its interesting. not my preference but interesting. i need to dissect the OS in my spare time if i wanna be tech savvy, ey kambo? speaking of which, how is everyone? haven't been able to get on msn at all because of the darned internet. hope yer all good.

thanksgiving break is coming up. i'm staying behind in ol CU (champaign urbana that is) and while away the days doing essays and preparing for finals and lounging around. the house is mine! wakakakakakkakaa. oh freeze will be there too, wontcha freezey? dia majuuu. waakkakakakaa. oh dear. sugar is getting to me.

the weather is damned unpredictable here. cold one day hot the next. must always check the forecast before going out everyday. its a hassle but a pretty hassle. the trees are getting nekkid! leaves on the ground everywhere. i'm just glad we don't have leaves raking as a chore, otherwise that would be no fun at all.

schoolwise, its getting interesting. im getting rojak grades but theyre ranging on the upper side. so im not too worried. just doing what i can. im only annoyed that i might not be able to fit my schedule cos theres this one class that i really wana take but it clashes with another class that i have to take. gosh darn it. i dunno. hopefully i'll think o something. by the way, the housemates are getting crazy. we have tv and candy sessions and laugh hysterically at my pathetic attempts to speak german.

as for winter, im most likely just staying in CU. airfares are pricey for this lady if its beyond nationwide. ho hum. its ok its ok. as much as i wanna visit the colder part of the western continent XD i dont think i have the time. will be learning programming on me own during winter break so ive got a headstart in spring courses. yeh yeh.

by teh way, what in the world happened to qammi and viv? oi, you people still alive???

pffffftttt. shucks. ive got class soon. ta ta for now.

oops

2007-11-02T14:38:00.000-04:00

i apologize for the terrible lack of updates. we've been really busy getting over the second midterms. many a time had i had to live on two hours worth of sleep in two days. wasn't fun, i can tell you that. i also get up before dawn (past 7am) and cycle in the freezing cold just to print papers before my 8am class. the seasonal torture i go through. indeed. should be getting back our grades next week or so. i'm hoping for the best. which is not much but considering the effort i put in, i think i gave it my all.

ahh well. school schmool. i am in the #4 world top engineering college anyway. who said it wasn't gna be difficult?

i was going to upload pictures but we're still having problems with the internet at home. i promise i will upload them soon. eek. so much for updatedversion ey.

2007-11-01T16:43:00.000-04:00

havent updated for a while. my week was pretty busy, what with papers and lectures. anyhow, yesterday, i had to attend a lecture by this guest lecture for a class. he's a pretty well known person, with all the right "qualifications" to make him a knowledgeable person on the topic he discussed. it was about terrorism, and when he started talking, it was the first time i've felt angry at a lecture. angry doesnt even begin to describe what i felt when he was talking. the way he talked about muslims and terrorism, it made me want to go up to him and ask him where he gets off talking like that. having numerous degrees and PhDs does not make it alright for you to talk about islam like its your religion. no one knows about something unless they've personally lived it. DONT make assumptions about muslims from a small group. SOD OFF, YOU PRICK! he actually said that muslims shouldnt follow the religion's "laws" if they wanted to live peacefully with other groups! wtf??!! stop making generalizations about people! not every muslim is violent. there are some who dont approve of this violence too, you know. he was such a hypocrite, saying that the US shouldnt act like they are the world's superpower, but he himself is laying down rules for people to follow.

pffffttt. needed to blow off steam. the lecture was so annoying that i forced myself to fall asleep so that i wouldnt have to listen to him. a nap makes the torture go by faster. lets just say i wouldnt dole out cash just to listen to him talk! bastard

a night at the library

2007-10-17T20:19:00.001-04:00

moses and freeze.

amy and freeze

nana and freeze

moses being geeky

weeee

2007-10-16T20:19:00.000-04:00

got my mid term results for three of my classes already. got reasonably good grades :) lol. so happy. all the studying wasnt in vain. pffftt. now have more papers to do. sigh :( and my finals. eeekk.soon.

i found it!

2007-10-15T21:02:00.001-04:00

i am loving the academia life right.

now.

i have essays due for three consecutive days. and math homework after that. and a music exam the next week. but yes, i love the writing and thinking. this is what real university life is about; intellectual events between your ears.

on top of that, my weekend activities are pretty exciting for the next few weeks, what with halloween coming up. yes, i'm dressing up for halloween. i've got my props. wakakakaka. you can't come here and not immerse yourself in the culture now, can you?

another reason why i'm very content is because of the weather. fall is here!!! the leaves are brown and gold and really falling. not as much yet but it has started. indeed. beautiful out here on campus.

well, it wouldn't do to tease you so now. that's why i brought my camera out with me today and used it, for once.

i like the chalk writings on the steps.

along the chemistry buildings.

red berry fruits.

waiting outside a lecture hall.

loads o fun.

2007-10-14T01:05:00.000-04:00

all my bags are packed
im ready to go & im standing here outside your door
i hate to wake you up to say goodbye
the dawn's breaking, its early morn
my taxi's waiting, its blowing its horn
already im so lonesone, i could die
so kiss me, and smile for me
tell me that you'll wait for me
hold me like you'll never let me go

GREETINGS

2007-10-13T00:26:00.000-04:00

to all the people we know, SELAMAT HARI RAYA. maaf zahir batin, for anything wrong we've done to anyone. :) to the people in Brunei, especially Capt E, jangantah kan me-nyaya pasal ketupat and kueh!!! we want kueh!! give me kueh mor!!!

october fest!

2007-10-09T17:52:00.001-04:00

ho hum.

last nite we called Cpt E! was so much fun to hear his tinkle o laughter again. we had ample ammo to tickle his funny bone. ^^ was a nice catching up. we got some news on how things are back in brunei. future scholars and so forth. ooooo ketupat ketupat. i want ketupat. pfffffttttt. we were having so much fun we didn't realize we had talked for an hour. whooey. better return that call next time, sir! hahahaha.

october is here and lotsa activities are coming up. midterms, for one. halloween, for one. birthdays (bobos), for one. spring courses registration, for one. the cold and the wind, for one. winter clothes shopping, for one!

hehehe.

yeah well. us bananas have nothing planned for raya this year. will most likely spend it like any other normal day. o well. send us pictures. call us. huhuhuhuhu.

if only we can find some kueh here. *plotting*

i know its hilarious that i breakdance. pffffttt. but in this environment/context, its syok waaaaa. i'm gna miss it when i'm back in brunei for good. huhuhuhuhu.

just because

2007-10-04T23:16:00.000-04:00

because i'm bored/taking a break from essay writing/thinking, i'll make a random list of the most obvious differences of life here and life in brunei.

its prefectly fine to go to lecture in your pajamas. more so when you have the ungodly 8am classes.
you are responsible for your own body; what you eat, what you drink, what you consume and not consume. its you have a conscience and logical mind, then great. if not, say hello to college through the haze of booze and beer belly.
there are actually things to do here if you're bored. you can take a walk outside, do some volunteering, go to a library, go to the mall, ride a bus, cycle, sit on the lawn and stare at passers by or the sky, count the endless take-outs deliveries and dine ins. even in the middle of the night, come rain, shine, or snow.
nobody tells you what to do. funny how that can be problematic at times. because you don't know what to do in your so much spare time. homework? lounge around? chores? movies? you keep track of your own life. nobody cares if you don't. you need to make things matter. its not as fun as it seems sometimes.
there are squirrels everywhere.
television is overrated. why bother with MTV when you have the real thing in a sorority house a few blocks away.
you're a scholar? big deal. you're rich? big deal. you're smart? big deal. one attribute does not make you top of the class. you need to be able to speak up and communicate, otherwise you're invisible.
there's pizza everywhere.
there is more to music than MTV. what you see on television is mainstream garbage.
americans are not as stereotypic as we think they are. only if you know the right people that is.

well i can't really think o much else. will post em if and when i do think o something. better get back to my academic thoughts now.

~beewon

good news!!

2007-10-04T00:17:00.000-04:00

OH MY GOD!! we finally found it!! we found the perfect apartment!! its clean, bright rooms, big bedrooms, nice kitchen and washing machine/laundry in the apartment itself!! awesome ain't it?? yes yes yes! we're gonna live there next year!! woohooo. we're so happy!!

freeze@beetoo

careers and apartments

2007-10-02T17:43:00.000-04:00

i forgot how heels can kill.

my feet to be exact. i was in business casual today since i volunteered to help out w the engr career fair. never intended to go in and distribute my resume. but i changed my mind after i saw they recruited freshman with student visas as well. well hell, how do i say no to that. to computer/software related positions at that.

so indeed. i handed out a resume. haha. granted, i only visited two booths, and gave out a resume to one. lost my courage after that. not expecting much tho. was good experience. i know what to expect next sem. plus, i'll be eligible to apply for Microsoft n IBM next year too. woohoo.

so yes. my feet hurt. we went aprtment viewing too. looks promising. we found a pretty nifty place and are very much looking forward to it next year.

that said. i have a lot of revision to do.

ta ta.

little things

2007-09-30T23:36:00.000-04:00

the weekend: the spontaneous plans with housemates or FLI buddies.
the 'study session' with Amy and Moses
sitting on the curb with a melting cookie in your hands
the one day reprieve with Freeze; which usually involves grocery shopping and harmless hooligan-ing.
my doughnut and tea breakfast in the before music lecture.
windy days.

oh crap

2007-09-29T03:16:00.000-04:00

okay. something happened. its 2.17am. had to go to the toilet, due to nature's call. THEN. the toilet chose tonight to act up, ie it wouldn't flush. to be concise, it was regurgitating. so what did i do, you ask? well, what the hell could i do? i had to empty it. personally. no details but it involved gloves, a 'cup' and a garbage bag. i'll leave the rest to your imagination. :P but on a lighter note, i had something to laugh about with nana.hahahahahaha. i'm damn proud of myself, but fricking pissed at the toilet. couldn't it act up when i was doing no 1 instead??!!

freeze@beetoo

an 8am class brings a good surprise

2007-09-29T01:08:00.000-04:00

the little things

2007-09-27T23:01:00.000-04:00

when i'm swamped with work to do, its easy to forget to stop smiling. the little things that make me smile again:
(1) feeding the squirrels on the quad. i just throw bits of cookies to squirrels. they go up to you if you make small clucking sounds.
(2)walking to 'insomniac cookies' late at night, and buying cookies and brownies for late night studying. the goodness of these definitely bring a smile to my face.
(3)friends who i can talk to and joke with, nana,james,amy,anna,yelena...
(4)talking about my day with nana and vice versa.
(5) talking with my parents and sister on the phone for a few minutes.

so even though it's stressful sometimes and there are moments when i wonder why the heck am i here, just thinking of the small stuff can make me smile. now, if i can do that while writing a paper due tomorrow. eek!

freeze@beetoo

greetings

2007-09-25T19:22:00.001-04:00

ho hummm. nothing very unusual happening around here this past week. managed to get more work done. already shifted into full gear academia mode. i went to have a study session with Amy and Moses on Sunday evening. it was pretty cool. everyone's doing a different major so we were basically keeping each other company studying. headed out to grainger library after that because the cafe had to close.

i had no idea how crowded a library can be in the middle o the night. i love my engineering library. its open 24hrs this week. how awesome is that. and yes we do utilise the library 110%. the only thing we need to have now is a 24hr coffeehouse too.

ho humm. the other exciting part o my life is breakdancing. currently learning how to put the steps together and get my own style. we're going to be performing for a show sometime in october. dunno if i'll be in it but i'll definitely be there. the awesome part o bboying is when they put a routine together and a whole pack o guys start synchronizing their moves.

this was taken the last time me n freeze went to Paradiso. its not my fault beetoo can't take good pictures with my camera.

that's just a building in the engineering campus in the background. we were supposedly taking pictures for mindef but never got round to really taking good pictures.

yeah well. nothing much in terms of daily stuff. i still get annoyed at nasal american girls trying to speak english. pffftttt.

sometimes i wonder if i might break out into my anti-Bush personality and do a crazed protest on the Quad. would be hilarious if i did. noone will pay attention to the politically ignorant Asian student, you see.

wakakkakakakaakaa. yes im rambling. just for the sake of blogging. pfffttt.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

2007-09-23T15:09:00.000-04:00

im exhausted! need sleep! hey scholars in the US, please try to keep in contact..thanks

i love myself

2007-09-22T02:17:00.000-04:00

kambo!!!! mr E!!!! u should be friggin proud o me!!!

I FIXED MY ERRONEOUS VAIO!

remember the 4 sec thing, and magic finger of capt E? well yeah, it happened again here and it wouldn't fix itself.

it took me 3 days to contact the vaio dealer. by then i was pissed. because i had to make a website, learn C and write essays. the dead end was to send it back to Brunei, with warranty and all. which means i need to get one here in the meantime because i can't wait that long. months. who knows.

tonight, by a miracle, i got to contact Joe. initial diagnosis, send it back to Brunei. after some more discussion, he told me to unscrew some screws and open up my laptop. i located the RAM. frickin took em out. cleaned them, dusted, blowed on them. stuck em back in. prayed. and turned the VAIO back on.

it turned on.

i was yelling by then. out of happiness and relief.

i am definitely a nerd. and engineer. be proud, o great people of OSM. beewon is an engineer.

C!

2007-09-21T02:30:00.001-04:00

i'm friggin' learning C.

at my own time.
without a textbook.
using online resources like Wikipedia.
getting instructions and lessons from a comp sci junior.

how incredible is that.

exams

2007-09-20T15:16:00.001-04:00

arrggghhh!!!

i hate exams, especially when they're on top of each other!

why oh why did i pick challenging classes that i know nothing about? sighhh

bumbumbum

2007-09-20T14:41:00.000-04:00

i am currently in a fix. so i won't be online or updating as often. still alive and kicking. just some technical problems.

dumdidumdidum.

fun

2007-09-19T15:05:00.000-04:00

last night, i tried something for the first time here ever. i went on the bus, to a grocery store, meijer, that's half an hour away by bus. i went at 10pm! haha. bus left at 10, got there at 10.30, left at 11.30 and arrived on campus at 12. then a 10 minute walk to the house.

why did i do this, you ask? i was accompanying my friend, who went there to buy fish for his new aquarium. he already had his tank all set up, and just needed to buy fish. well, we had fun puzzling over which fish to buy, and turned out that he hadn't bought the oxygen pump yet. he thought that the air filter was the same like an oxygen pump. lol. finally picked the fish after half an hour of peering in tanks, and while i was holding it in the clear bag, i dropped it! whoops!! sorry james, didn't mean to do that. :p completely unintentional. then, after we got to campus already, helped him figure out on how to set up the stuff.

got home around 1.30. i think, or 2am. i had class at 10 am, but had to wake up at 7am cos i had some stuff to do in the morning. so im a bit sleep deprived today, but i had a fun time alst night. been stressing too much over my studies lately, and a night off felt awesome.

freeze@beetoo

whoops

2007-09-18T02:53:00.000-04:00

i forgot to mention the zingiest thing of all. exams are commonplace. we've been here for three four weeks and we've got midterms already. that's how it goes when you use the semester system. exam assignments essays and more projects. its like that, yall. will need to get used to the fact that slacking is not an option. ^^

beewon!

ola

2007-09-18T00:57:00.000-04:00

first of all, thanks nana. lending your shoulder to me.i know i soaked it. thanks. it means a lot to me.

secondly, to the juniors and OSM, i agree with nana. any questions, we will try to answer them as best as we can. we're here to support u, cause you will be our juniors. we can help you with questions about schools in the US. i know how crazy US colleges seem, i remember applying and looking at that course list and going oh 's***'. try to contact us. we dont bite. :)

now an update on my week. i was so busy,was practically like a chicken running around without a head. i tried pledging for a sorority, for two weeks, i stuck with it. being busy, dedicating way too much time to it than i should have. but i had to make a decision.was beginning to neglect my studies. i had to make a decision. on one hand, i didnt want to be a failure, cause i didnt go through with the pledging, but then again, studies VS sorority, studies win hands down. i didnt bust my ass off for the last two years just to join a sorority. i really want to join though. but i had to decide. again, nana thanks. you were there when i needed a friend the most.hugs

we're trying to get an apartment for next year. leasing starts this october. yay!

studies wise, im doing ok. got the essays and quizzes back. exams this week. eek.

starting to think about home again. must be the fasting thing. here, we sahur and sungkai alone. only two of us. but then our bond is getting stronger. i miss my mom, my dad, and my sister. i regret taking for granted the times we spent together as a family. i miss my cats. i do enjoy my time here. im beginning to consider it home. used to it already. but cant wait to go home next year though.

and to that one person who i hope reads this, im still waiting for you. still. i tried not to, but i cant. i know you're over it already and that hurts. i do hope you're happy now, with your loved one. she's lucky to have you. i'm still praying that things will work out between us.

to everyone, im sorry if this post is sappy. i need to get things off my chest or else i'll explode.
nana will kill me when she reads this post. its the most emo yet!! lol

-freeze@beetoo

in paradiso

2007-09-17T22:39:00.001-04:00

we're currently at a cafe near our house. i love the atmosphere here. mismatched splashes of colours. my style.

its 9.41pm and i haven't got much of my homework done, thanks to the idiot box. well, we did get a lot done during the day though. we've found a nifty prospective apartment for next year and contacted the company. its yet to be confirmed but at least we've got something to look forward to.

i finally got my bum to an advisor's office and discussed my curriculum. i'm finally able to see what i'm going to do for the next three semesters. and i've got a damn good plan on ace-ing as an EE. most likely taking up a minor too. a double major is out of the question since it means i need an extra year to graduate. i'd love to but o well. =) and. i'm learning C on my own. probably HTML and CSS too on the way. with luck C++. i just need to know C by the end of winter break so i'm good to go for engineering classes next semester.i know i'm already getting a lot on my plate. its going to be fun.

if any prospective mindef scholars read our blog, read it regularly. ask questions, comment, say something. we're here to help. we have a lot of good info. for example, your A levels are a humungous benefit. i cleared off 17 or 19 hours of credit. i'm technically a junior with all my chemistry physics and math qualifications. so yes, do your best at getting the grades for A levels. they're awesome, them GCEs. another thing is, don't expect much guidelines in your curriculum here; you set your own pathway. sure there are a few rules but overall, you make your own degree. i'm learning computer languages on my own and i'm going to get job experience on my own. you need to have your own incentive. with luck i want to have worked with IBM or Microsoft or nvidia or etc etc the likes. engineering rocks, here. the company comes to you. of course, you still need to put in a lot of effort. there are a lot of other students out here competing neck to neck. my resume still looks like crap compared to others who have job experiences at well known companies. plus the fact that i'm an international student doesn't make things any easier. get a work visa. you will need it.

it is a big difference from home. but it is a good one. the unfamiliarity is the best part.

again. if the OSM people could tell the kids to read up here, its for their own good. we'd love to have them at UIUC and build up a Bruneian community here.

ahh. chocolate milk in summer night. i am content.

o dear

2007-09-17T03:28:00.000-04:00

o dear o dear o dear

i knew there had to be a reason why i couldn't sleep tonight, no matter how much i want to.

essay. sigh. at least i wrote something.

sleep wouldn't overcome me.

i lent my shoulder tonight. i lent my company. i lent my attention. as always, i'm here. don't worry about it. i am here.

again. sleep wouldn't overcome.

she's planning her wedding. i'm going to be the bridesmaid. whenever that is. but yes. she is going to get married. i am astounded at how well i am taking it.

again. sleep wouldn't overcome.

i don't know what's with me and sad stories, sad songs. i am constantly feeling sad.

sleep. you are a ***** tonight for avoiding me. i can't live on thoughts alone. that's how i went inwards. don't let me go there again.

i will try to sleep.

sigh.

back to school

2007-09-16T04:50:00.001-04:00

my saturday evening was spent 'Back to School'. its a hiphop jam at the quad. was freezing cold, but that's what dancing is for. to keep you warm. it was really cool. you got the DJ, the music, the skateboarders in the background, the breakdancers in the background. everything is in the background. do your thing.

and wow. i love it.

underground. gangsta. its a culture instead of a lifestyle now. get rid of all the dangerous elements and you've got hip hop and chillin time.

no i'm not turning black or joining any gangs.

i happen to have found something that i really like.

selamat berpuasa!

2007-09-14T02:23:00.001-04:00

math revision and tiramisu. cheap tasting cake, but sweet nevertheless, after a day's fast.

the real dinner. our first sungkai in America. syukur syukur.

after dinner. digesting. mmmmmm. i like that mug. really do. hot green tea in it.

sprained arm

2007-09-14T01:01:00.001-04:00

i'm nervous.

very pumped and freaked.

i'm mucho nervous.

its time

2007-09-12T21:33:00.000-04:00

tomorrow's the first day of ramadhan. we're still going to fast here, even though maghrib is around 7pm here. tomorrow is my first exam for one of my classes, and its the first day of fasting too.sigh.oh well. its getting really cold here. really cold winds. sorry for slacking in replying to emails or boring posts on the blog, but i've been really busy these past weeks. til next time when i have more free time. PS: congratulations to all my friends who got the MOE scholarships!!

2007-09-10T18:21:00.000-04:00

i'm tiiiiyuuuuurrrrreeedddddd. =="

i shouldn't bring my books out every day. they're not making me any taller. plus i walked. ick.

currently, i'm resting on a bench in the cooling weather. thank goodness. it has been pretty hot today. and i've been spending most of my time outside, in the shade, but still in the heat. doing work. sorta. hahahahahahahahaha. yes, i'm sorta doing work now too.

just found out midterms are this week. i have two exams and a quiz already. woohoo. who knows what else tomorrow might bring.

ahhh highs and lows of beewon.

whoa

2007-09-09T14:17:00.000-04:00

holy cow!!!!! a thousand smooches already! didn't know we were that kissable. wakakakakkakakakaa.

ahhhhh good weekend good weekend. got some work done. got some socializing done. got some fun done. didn't get any cleaning done though. haiya.

random post: i need to drink more water. i can't avoid the tap forever. sigh.

woooohooo

2007-09-09T11:25:00.001-04:00

milestone reached!! we've had over a thousand visitors to our blog!! thanks for reading our ramblings people!! :p

bonding time

2007-09-08T20:54:00.000-04:00

today was fun. great. a ton of laughs. we went walking around the campus, eating first then checking out clothing shops because i'm looking for a white tee to wear. all the shops are on campus. anyway, it was drizzling, but it was great because we got bonding time. we could talk in malay as much as we wanted to. shared what happened during the week, or in my case, last night(something happened, but wont go on this blog). i'm so thankful that i'm with nana here. a great friend. and we click so there's no friction. maybe that's because we have some things we do as a team, but some stuff we do on our own, with other friends. but we still turn to each other though in terms of need

;) btw, beewon, its not your loss if he's an idiot, its his. hehe. u know what i mean. tonight is movie night. gonna pop in a dvd in the TV downstairs, pop some popcorn and finally invite friends over. nice. more to come.

P.S: nana, sorry i pulled you out of your bed today, but there was nothing else i could do to get you off your bed.haha

B1 and B2 on a weekend outing

2007-09-08T20:43:00.000-04:00

waheyyy the bananas went shopping today ^^ we found a great place which has tomyum soup and asian food. i was salivating at the door. mmmmmmmmm.... yes i miss all the santan and lemak. i can eat kway teow!!!!!!!!

then we went to a boutique to get something freeze was looking for. i got cajoled to buy something i have no idea when i would wear it. its nice. pretty. i look like a girl for once. but. i might probably just wear it on my birthday. wakakkaakakakaka. we had fun tho. bonding mehhhhh. =)

sometimes i wonder if i try too hard. i'm losing focus. well not on academics but on life. who am i and what do i want to do. i wonder if i'm trying to enjoy the little things in life too much. or i just have the bad luck to get a numbskull, a person who i used to be. rats. i wonder who i'm trying to convince here. i always get the difficult people. why is that? huh? huh??
do i really have to be that obvious? am i supposed to do all the work? jeez. i'd like to be the girl for once.

yay!!!

2007-09-08T14:49:00.000-04:00

okay, here's the deal. i turned in an essay last week, basically about globalization and how it affects myself. i personally thought i wrote a crappy essay, i couldn't think of a way to express myself clearly like i wanted to. when my lecturer gave back the essays, after we had our quiz, i was literally going, oh shit, oh crap. i didnt want to look at it, so i turned it face down. finally looked at it when i was walking out of my class. turns out i got a perfect score!! awesome eh?? i was so HAPPY!!!! i had a HUGE grin on my face for the rest of the day, even until the end of my study session with my friends at 11pm. watched a great movie after that at my friend's dorm room until 3 am, then it was time to go home for me. oh well, i needed a break, been busting my ass off this past few days.

freeze@beetoo

2007-09-06T19:42:00.000-04:00

okay..

today, i've only had two hours of sleep, and to top it all off, today's a busy day. i've been running around non-stop, and even now, i'm finishing up my essay that i'm going to turn in tomorrow morning. in about an hour, i have to go out again to a meeting. then i have a quiz at 9.45 pm. i really hope i can sleep early tonight, or at least get 5 hours of sleep but i dont think thats likely

sigh

Freeze@beetoo

hmph

2007-09-06T01:35:00.001-04:00

damn it all is right.

*growl*

2007-09-05T22:20:00.001-04:00

damn it all!! guess how much work i have? an essay due this friday,around 5 online quizzes due in a week, a test today, a quiz tomorrow, homeworks due in a week, and an exam in about two weeks!!!! crap crap crap. its now 3 am. havent gotten any sleep today. doing my essay, my online quizzes, and i havent even studied for my test today!!!! SHIT! sleep not a likely chance. coffee is my best friend now.
-freeze@beetoo

reminiscence

2007-09-04T15:23:00.001-04:00

i'm currently in the engineering library, brooding and looking busy in my little cubicle. i'm procrastinating. homework is a bugger.

i just happened to have this panorama sitting in a corner o my desktop. it made me smile. the memories are phenomenal. i nearly died out there (i'm exaggerating but who wouldn't when you've lived in a rainforest for a week).

haha. its funny now. though i'm not sure i'm looking forward to it when i get back. pffft.

well. its not a nicely put together panorama, but the lighting was changing every second since it was sunrise. o hey, i just realized my camera survived the rainforest. had to be wrapped twice in a ziplock though. hahahahaa.

funny.

sunday!

2007-09-03T03:43:00.000-04:00

regarding the concert; well, ya see, i know muscular and strong, but no 6 footers. they're tiny but packed. which is cool since they're not in-yo-face. hahahhaa. and i would've slept on the streets. or not slept at all. but myhousemate is a very nice motherly figure who wouldn't let us do that. so yeah. its all good. lucky i'm not too bummed about it. otherwise i wouldve holed up in my room and watch mcr on youtube going nuts.

anywayyy.

i had another breakdance practise this afternoon. got up just in time for that. its really great. i learn something new everyday and i do believe i'm improving. yay. then Moses (this big black dude who is really flexible and really nice and really good with words) hollers that there's gna be a hip hop thingy at some bar tonight. so okay. why not. i've never seen one much less been to a hip hop scene so this would be the perfect opportunity.

i IMed Matt, president o Floor Lovers Illinois or FLI (that's the name o the group. whee~) for the details. Moses pulled some strings and got me into the bar (he is awesome because its 19 n above and i'm still frickin 18). it was funny. Matt and Colin were with me and we were expecting a breakdance battle ish scene.

wherever did we go wrong.

it was hiphop alright. but the crowd was so wrong. 25 n above half drunkards grinding on the floor. dude! where are the bboys and bgirls????? it was hilarious. we were just standing in a corner, enjoying the music since that was all that we could do. at least the music was good. Moses even gave a shout out to Matt and us. he's great.

and then i just hung out w the boys at their place (their apartment is so neat, i already know where me n freeze should look out for). watched anime. so farney. and i discovered that i can still use BitComet to my heart's content here!!!! *hopping in circles* joy o joy. i'm gna have fun, back to my ripping ways.

oh. the fire alarm went off in the mid of an anime episode we were watching. it was interesting. the beeping or screeching or noise was so loud. and there were flashing lights. false alarm tho. nothing very interesting aside from the firefighters and the lights and the whole neighbourhood (im exaggerating, just the occupants of the building) were out on the street. that was cool. my first fire alarm experience. and like they said, "At least its not winter."

pffffftttt.

today's great. monday's great since its labor day. i'm finally going to be able to catch up on schoolwork. yay.

qamie!!!!

2007-09-02T22:28:00.000-04:00

o my god QAMIIEEEEEE

do not pick up the 'like. like. like.'

please. i will kick yo ass if i hear you speak like, omg, like that way, you know like, always with the like, like you know?

u wanna know how i know? its already obvious in your blog posts. pffffttt.

T_T

change of plans

2007-09-01T22:27:00.000-04:00

the original plan for this weekend was for us to go to chicago on friday night, to watch the my chemical romance and linkin park concert, that was on saturday. but then, we didn't manage to catch a train. our fault, such a stupid mistake to make. then, when we tried to figure out a way to get to chicago before saturday, and the next train was on saturday night. not to be deterred, we turned to buses. SO, we bought tickets for a bus that was going to chicago on friday night at 9pm. THEN, there was the matter of transportation there and where we were gonna live at and stuff. and if we used the bus, we would have arrived at a chicago suburb by midnight. so it wasnt really safe. so after considering this and trying to find a place to crash at in chicago(called up friends living there), we decided not to go. we thought it was too risky. worse of all, i couldnt cancel the bus ticket reservations that i made(stupid f***ing company), so we lost around $40 plus each!! but then, all things considered, even though it was a waste of concert tickets, i think we made a right decision, we didnt want to take the risk. who knows what might have happened right?

freeze@beetoo

today's pretty uneventful. but now it's around 10pm, and we're getting ready to go out, dancing! we're going with our housemates who are older than us. hope it'll be fun. update on this tomorrow

2007-09-01T19:02:00.001-04:00

welllll heelllooooooo, orang Brunei!

its nice to hear from our readers; salwa, charlene, bobo, noi! and the funky people. i have a feeling that the anonymus people are pretenders who have swiped their finger on my vaio before. wakakakakaakakaka.

the image, smell and taste of kari ayam just popped into my head.

dammit.

its the weekend. yay. i finally caught up with sleep. its a privilege to be able to wake up whenever your body wants to.

i'm finally on facebook. just search a 'nana gapar'. not of much use to me now though, since most o the people i know are on friendster (which is a waste o time but i still use it anyway).

this is pretty much random. i wish that i have more purpose. or, how do i say it? more o a presence? hmmm. this is difficult to describe. i'll leave it at that.

i'll let freeze explain why we're not in chicago right now. pffftt.

i wish i could do more things.
for example, i wish that the pictures that i take were better (or rather I want a better camera). i want to bgirl awesomely. i want to ace math forever, regardless of all the Ms Tors and Mr Igors that teach me. i want to draw again. i want to be more sympathetic (but this is a lost cause since i'm very much un-emotional).

i think i'll just bum around today. could try and search for $1 soto vendors but i might come home bawling.

correction

2007-08-30T23:22:00.000-04:00

WE ARE NOT GAY!! what i meant was it was cool! sweet=cool, not sweet=romantic

honestly!

2007-08-30T22:54:00.000-04:00

i apologize on behalf of beetoo for sounding like a ninny. "it was so sweet". honestly. as if we dont sound gay enough. tsk tsk.

errrr

2007-08-30T17:48:00.001-04:00

the first two weeks of class flew by so quickly. now, i have so many readings to do. readings from just two classes can take me more than a day to do, and i have four classes. pffft. now, any free time that i have between classes is spent on catching up on anything i haven't done. have to continually check on the website to make sure i've done my readings for the next class. its different here. the professor doesnt tell you what to do or to read. its put together with the syllabus given for each class. woe on you if you don't read the syllabus outline. in between managing my time between my classes, i have to juggle cleaning my room, cooking and making friends as well.

my juggling has been ok. so far, so good. nothing has fallen yet. crossing fingers it wont happen. i'm grateful to mindef for preparing us for this early on. if we just went here without anything, don't know what would happen. thanks mindef and OSM!!

okay. what we did tonight! i met up nana after my interview, at the union, then met Amy. turns out it was salsa night at the union!! so Amy dragged me out to the dancefloor to learn how to salsa! it was freaking awesome. first time i've dared to do that! Thanks Amy for pulling me and calling a me a pansy.

after that was DDR at the rec room. we still suck at it. in between playing, we gawked at the guys playing the expert levels. OMG seriously couldn't even see the arrows whiz by. like how do they do it?

Me and nana cycled back home, and it was really sweet. it was really cold, and i could feel my legs go numb even when i was cycling(was wearing shorts, so yea) but seriously, cycling under the stars with a cold wind is a must try experience!!

my place

2007-08-28T18:49:00.001-04:00

this is my hanging out place while waiting for my next class. its really peaceful what with the winds blowing lightly on your face. kinda like my sanctuary. its not complete without a textbook(usually heavy), a bottle of water and my omnipresent heavy backpack in which i manage to pack in all my crap

stones and engravings

2007-08-27T23:55:00.000-04:00

i passed out on the carpeted floor of my room for the past three hours. it was such good sleep. i still have an affinity to floors here just like i do back home, its great. bridging the distance. yep.

part o the reason why i'm so exhausted is because i gave it my all with math. and rhet and music. no easy feat. had an 8am class and the last one was till 5pm. talk about full day. it was great though, don't get me wrong. i accomplished something academically so i feel good about it. you know that feeling. effort pays n stuff.

another reason is that my body aches from all the floor loving on sunday. ahem. breaking. AND also we finally got bicycles and we explored quaint little places.

o this bobo's bike is the kewl yellow shiny sportish one.

a halloween shop we found.

hello, my pretty.

our favourite hang out spot. well mine, anyway.

mail, for the dead. pfffttt.

touching.

juxtaposition. i love it.

yes, a funny little squirrel decided to play on headstones.

this reminded me instantly of HP's little light out spell, "nox".

how true.

the first weekend

2007-08-26T16:37:00.000-04:00

okay..it's our first weekend of our first week of university life. lets see how interesting it is

friday:

had class at 9 am
watched a live band perform while waiting for my 1 pm class
walked 10 min to my class
show over by the time finish class. catch up to the singer and ask for the free album. put on sweet smile. get two cds!
make dinner with nana in the pm
totally stuffed by 8pm.
dragged out by nana to watch breakdancing in the quad(which btw turned out to be cancelled due to rain.pffft)
play ddr and race cars with nana in the arcade. P.S: we suck at both!
watch another live band which nana loved at once. suck up again to the band to get autograph.
home by 12. crash into bed. tiiireed.

saturday:

bike auction at 9 am. bought mine for $40. sweet!! good condition.
ride bike home. wobbly and shaky cause haven't been on one in ages. miracle arrive home in one piece.
doze off in front of TV when should be doing my readings for next class.
go grocery shopping with nana. finally found kicap and Chili sauce. thank god!! btw, guess how much a tin of condensed milk cost here? $3!! wtf??
go online till sleep. got headache.must rest.

Sunday:

go with nana to her breakdancing club thingy majiggy. i watch. she try. dancing guys cute. turns out the cutest one looks gay. pfffftt. such a waste.
meet jean(korean friend) for lunch. initial awkwardness. haven't seen each other lately cos no class together. go italian cafe for lunch. yummy pizza.
nana joins us for lunch, being all glowy and gushy from the breakdancing class.
buy bicycle lock. kana curi karang!!
at home, online. as usual. should do readings.
feel a bit weak. heat exhaustion? nahh
listen to slow, sad songs while online. feel sad. missing someone badly.
read kambomambo's blog. cheer up at the sight of the backside blog. eyes hurt tho. oww.
dont know what happens next. sleep? or kacau nana?
go bike riding for 2 hours.
cook dinner.watch lord of the rings. do homework.

interesting no?

but seriously though, even though my posts are usually lighthearted, i dont really feel like that sometimes. sometimes i just feel so sad. overwhelmed. i don't want to show it cause i don't want people to say i'm weak. i'm not. there are just moments where all i wanna do is be back at home. maybe then i'd have a chance at it. a fair chance but then, if it's meant to be, it will happen right? takdir. or fate. *praying fervently that it is meant to be*

oh well, i'm just waiting for the skies to clear up. the sun will come out again. oh geez, its so corny. i must stop now.

whoop

2007-08-26T16:33:00.000-04:00

i can friggin' break!

i'm gna be a b-girl.

will post a vid soon. ^^

music overload

2007-08-25T01:01:00.000-04:00

i saw two bands perform in my campus, to-friggin-day. i'm on overload. i got a Seth Bradley CD for free, courtesy of Freeze. She actually ran after the band (or him should I say) when I told her he was giving out free CDs if you just went up to say hello. What a freak o nature; she got TWO CDs. kiss ass. hahahahahahahhaa.

and then tonight, I saw Parker House & Theory who are from Boston. THEY ARE FRIGGIN AWESOME!!!! I've never heard o them before but I loved their music at once. It was awesome to dance to, it was syok to listen to, and they were amazing live.amazing. live.

you hardly ever get good live bands.

and they were right on campus. XD i'm ecstatic. i got their CDs and their signatures too. wakakakkakakaka. my first time being a groupie-ish freak. it was awesome.

i don't think i can sleep tonight. the endorphins are on a high.

new subject

2007-08-24T08:12:00.000-04:00

well, i had my political science and economics class. my political science class is introduction to US govt and politics. bloody hell! what did i get myself into? i seem to be the only international in the class. maybe that's because no one else is stupid enough to take a class that they dont know anything about!! even now, reading the papers i'm supposed to read before class starts, i get cross eyed from the text. my classmates are more advantaged than me, considering that they should be familiar with their own government. even my econ class is gonna be a challenge. because of my A level credits, i could skip the freshman class for econ, and join the second year class instead. i was happy about this, till i walked into the class. oh my god. i felt like such a kid, being surrounded by other students looking way older than me. again, i dont know what i got myself into

i've been having doubts whether i can deal with these two subjects, but then again, come to think of it, i wouldn't be here if i didn't dare to try something challenging last year. so im not going to change my classes. i'm gonna try and do a freaking good job at it!

i have to run now to catch a bus to class.running late. need to grab a coffee before class. ciao

and i smooch you back.

2007-08-24T00:47:00.000-04:00

i actually have a lot of thoughts i wanted to share with you but i always seem to forget everytime i get to my lappie. let's see if i can still remember.

i think i've already stated this but i still want to keep my accentless, or rather, asian/british accent and i refuse to go "like yeah, like...like....like...". and i refuse to speak with a drawl, unless necessary. americans don't seem to understand you if you don't speak american. not english. american. the arrogant sonofab*tch*s.

i had my first anthropology class today. it was way over my head. i know nothing. that's mostly why i took the class though. the challenge is to actually be knowledgeable in something completely unrelated to me. *yes i'm beginning to be more selfless.* it was interesting. but i do need to stay awake in classes like math. bloody hell. even though i've gained credit for two courses, this course that i'm taking is still A level standard. vectors for god's sake. bleeding two dimensional vectors, with the is and js. ah well. even if i fish in lectures, at least i'll be able to do the homework and assignments with no problem. yeah i'm trying to not be over confident about it. the last time i did that with Biology, i nearly flunked it. then again, i had a flaky teacher who screwed over the school to get more money. oops, wrong story.

anyway, my room is a mess. as usual. but i'm going to clean it up this weekend. i hardly stay at home during the day. i do my homework on campus, i socialize on campus, i chill on campus. i only come home to do chores, to mandi and everything, and to sleep. simple enough. the college life should be the best period of your life. and i'm letting it be.

with luck, i'll be able to learn how to breakdance. i'll learn how to ice skate properly. i'll learn how to invent or just tick with something. so far, i'm really quite alright. i'm not complaining about my little room and the stuffiness of it (its inevitable to sleep in front of the fan you had to buy yourself at night). i'm not really complaining about the food (or lack of it). i'm not complaining about the fifteen minute walk to campus, or the many walks around campus. i'm pretty much content. because i did something great to get here. and i'm enjoying the little perks of independence. i have a good support. i've made a few good friends, the type you just click with within the first few minutes and you trust them and vice versa. i'm enjoying the strangeness of the classes and the intriguing subjects. i'm enjoying watching people pass by every day on campus. you make up little stories in your head, you observe their quirks and sometimes, they notice you noticing them. you get to know the cashier of your favourite cafe and ice cream shop.

its awesome really. i have a more or less secured job in Brunei when i graduate. my family is happy. my friends are moving on as well. i'm learning new stuff. the sweat and blood was worth it. and i know that certain people out there are proud of me. proud of us.

sometimes i still wish i was six years old though. =p

quality over quantity.

first day of school

2007-08-22T19:20:00.001-04:00

weeeheeee!

finally, we had our first day of the semester. i had my language in globalization(LING 111) and rhet 105 today. basically, both deals with language. In rhet 105, i was dreading the thought of writing endless boring essays. turns out, our teacher is a cool graduate student, and the topics this semester mainly deals with rock and roll! sweet! actually looking forward to it. it looks like it's gonna be an interesting class. my first day was totally relaxed, i only had two classes the whole day, LING at 10 am and Rhet at 1pm.

i'm beginning to get life in the US. everything is plus sized! but funny thing is, the clothes sizes keep getting smaller and smaller. imagine a size 00. weird eh? needless to say, i couldn't fit the 00 size. haha. even the coffee cup sizes are huge here. the small cup is equivalent to the large cup size for coffee back home. best thing is, the large size cost only $2! compared to home,that's a sweet deal! i need my coffee fix right in the morning, so that i wont be that much of a zombie.

anyhoo, we met a cool girl here, Amy. she's from southern illinois, and she is hilarious! she dares to do anything. for example, on monday night,we went ice skating! yes, we actually have our own skating rink. again, sweet! nana and Amy were naturals, despite not having any experience ice skating. i, on the otherhand, was holding on to the wall the whole time! oh well, at least i didn't fall on my butt!! that's a good thing.

my daily dose of coffee in large

My room

scooby doo??
my postersAmy with her jumbo sized soda

my favorite poster

things haven't been all rosy though. i had a medical checkup and turns out, i have something. i wont say what that something is, but it's slightly serious. im on medication for the next nine months! crap.it was a total surprise for me, considering that i had a medical checkup just before i went off. oh well, that's life

my medication!!

PS: wanna say thanks to nana's parents, for the stuff they bought for me. thanks! :) and i wont forget the deal!

Welcome Week and New Student Convocation Day

2007-08-20T18:22:00.000-04:00

that's us. at 801 W. Nevada.

free shoes free stuf free junk

the Quad

our Alma Mater

my little presents. chocolate everything.

my closet-that-has-no-door-but-a-tapestry-and-neon-lights instead

and that's our school song ^^ well it is the orchestral version, wait till i get my hands on a vid of the pep rally version.

a small percentage of the Marching Illini during Quad Day

almost everyone, freshmen sophomores juniors seniors etc was at the quad

the flag twirlers were better than the cheerleaders i.m.o.

woohoo. the Marching Illini rocks. awesome. our military band should learn from em.

medieval sparring club anyone?

yeah. my parents and I.

another view of my room.

oooo, that's New Student Convocation Day. those are all the professors.

those are all the freshmen. Class of 2011.

prepare your lipgloss

2007-08-19T22:55:00.000-04:00

ya know. i'm amazed. we have an average of 30 readers per day. how in the world did we achieve that?????

hey smoochers. why don't ya leave a comment. let's see if we can figure out who you are. ^^

i smooch.

second one

2007-08-17T23:30:00.000-04:00

okay, this is the second blog for tonight. just wanna add on what beewon was saying. yea, we haven't eaten meat and chicken in a week. everytime we can smell the delicious aromas wafting from restaurants, we salivate. thought we'd have given in by this time, ie just eat whatever we want to. but we havent. we'd rather be vegetarians for 9 months rather than eat non-halal food, and that's something to be friggin proud of! we'll just pig out on meat and chicken when we're back home.

class registration was hectic, what with most of the interesting classes being full already. i managed to get credits for my A levels though, and i could drop 4 courses. this means im less 14 hours for graduation! weeheee! 106 hours to go for graduation! managed to meet some nice people, most of them internationals as well.

kinda miss home a bit. not to the point where i get teary eyed at the thought of home, but i just miss all the familiar places. but then, everytime i step on campus,all this just fades away.

think you've had enough of my ramblings for tonight. gonna hit the sack soon. but first, i have to bug beewon in her 'yellow room' first. ciao

camp. ang mohs. and pasta.

2007-08-17T22:24:00.000-04:00

wheeeoooo

I MISS KARI AYAM AND SATAYYYYYY.

i miss meat. period. there's no bloody zabihah meat or halal food. whatsoever. NADA. ive been a vegetarian this past week, and it seems like it will stay that way for the next 9 months. tidaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkkk!!!!!

well, unless we zip out to chicago every weekend...

so yeah, the food situation is a bit bleak at the moment. freeze has been moaning and groaning about it. i've kept my claws in her backside to stop her from running to all the american chicken and beef aromas wafting through everytime we go out.

i went to an Women In Engineering camp organized by the women in engineering society in college. pffft. it was entertaining. to say the least. i was pretty reluctant to go at first. a few people know that too. but i suppose i'm glad i did. i got a headstart at getting around the engineering campus, using the engineering library (which is the biggest in the country with tens of thousands of volumes!), making new friends and acquaintances and knowing what to expect.

i have to say, they are very creative. all the projects they gave us were designed to be either intellectual or social. there was a 'weaving' class which had us pairing up to create a weave using each other's help and also utilizing the learning concept. there were sessions of making roses from duct tape and also making friendship bracelets which gave us all really great opportunities to just talk to each other and bond, bebeh. i was impressed with the depth of the concepts used and all the thought that went into it. they really made an effort to give us the opportunities to know each other and know what to expect. i was really impressed by that. other than that, i was practically zombie-ing through the whole camp. made a few real worthy friends, got to know lots of people.

they had a challenge course which was supposedly challenging. supposedly. i was reminded so much of a fluffy bunny version of OBBD. honestly. it was a very very mild touch of the survival and reflection course, but entertaining nonetheless. yeah. i have to admit, obbd was real good for me. i went through hell n back and i'm still going to every year. lol. anyway, it was light hearted fun. it did take my mind of missing home though. yeah, i miss the familiarity.

i suppose one can never be too confident about adjusting to a different life. i was over estimating myself. i had really it bad for one night. i just hope that that's it. it wasn't culture shock. no sir, it wasn't. just another bout of depression. eh, mental retardation. eh eh, homesickness.

it was a bit too much at one point. i don't really like my room. i'm hoping to find an apartment soon so that we can move out from here real soon. i just have a bad vibe about it, and i'm uncomfortable. now, there's no way i should be uncomfortable in my own space now, should i? so yeah, just hunting around now. screw the contract. i'll pay them money to move out. pfffftt.

i think the quality over quantity mentality is really cementing well.

plus. i've gotten over the getting-to-know-you phase. i do not like the "o my gosh, like did you see that? that was like, so cool. like, it's hot right?" bloody buggering hell. american english is really annoying. i'm still sticking to the british way of speaking, thank yoo. i'll have a clipped accent and have tea n scones to prove it. pfffftt. honestly, they need to re-learn the english language. oh, and by the way, quite a number of people have said that my english is good. yeh yehhh =) kambang.

oh. kids here my age, do not age their age. we are, definitely, more mature and responsible than them. this will pose problems in making friends with the caucasian/african american teenage population. whyyyy do we have to look like kids who have adult minds. it's just so twisted. this is one of the times that i wish i was in UK. pfffft. the height difference here isn't so bad. me n freeze are quite okay. good thing we're not the petite asians. otherwise we'd be really craning our necks. no fun at all, indeed.

yeah. my observations and my complaints and my comments. it has been exactly a week since we arrived. we are well and alive, if not komplen komplen saja. sorry i don't have pictures. i forgot to bring my camera to camp. i'll have really good pictures soon though. there are big events coming up. so yeah, do keep posted about that.

strawberrypants, signing out.

my thoughts

2007-08-17T22:05:00.000-04:00

i finally did it. thought about it for most of the last two years. now i've finally got enough courage to actually do it. of course, being thousands of miles away does help. i know you probably wont ever read this but i just want to vent off my feelings now:

(1) i know you think i'm a total b***h right now, the way i'm treating you. but i honestly think that it's the right thing to do for both of us. or is that just me trying to excuse my behavior? i hope you'll get what i mean in the future.

(2)i did love you once. i did.i gave you all the love i could give. but i changed. you cant blame me for changing. it's my right.you cant make me feel guilty just so you can get your own way. i want to be happy. please let me be.

(3)stop trying. it wont work.

try to accept the fact that this is final. i've finally crossed the line where i've been stuck at for such a long time, and i'm finally on the other side. i was always standing on that line, longing to go to the other side.don't try to pull me back.dont. respect my decision. let me think about myself for once, instead of doing things just so people wont think bad about me. i've cared too much about what people think.now it's my chance to do what i want to do.

moving day

2007-08-15T11:32:00.000-04:00

it's happened!! we finally moved into our new home, ie our rooms. paid over the cash. $900 gone. my room size is okay, i think it's gonna be enough for all my junk. but it's just so dirty!! looks like no one has lived there in years.okay, maybe that's stretching it a bit, but it is dirty. but i'm just happy that i don't have to live out of my suitcase. i can finally unpack!

yelena( our house manager) was nice enough to bring us shopping(again!) for stuff we needed, like pillows, bed sheets, etc etc. this time we went to walmart. we need cheap but good quality stuff now. cotton is good enough. silk will have to wait. an hour later, our( me and nana) trolleys were practically overflowing. at the checkout counter, i was crossing my fingers that i had enough cash to pay for it( inda cali tu if inda cukup). luckily, it was just enough. we finally have our cutlery and groceries(we cant use the house cutlery cause of religious reasons). our first cooked meal was indomee(surprise surprise). for you guys who are going, duuuiiii indomee, give us a break.hehe. we were really exhausted from carrying our HUGE suitcases into our rooms(which are on the first floor btw, and no there's no lift). thank god we have each other. kalau sorang, inda dapat naik tu luggage ah.

im not going to post pictures of my room online till im done with it, ie clean it and decorate it. so just keep checking on the blog if you wanna see the pics(highly unlikely plg you wanna see it). till then, adios. P.S: to our juniors who might come to illinois(UIUC) give us a shout. we might be able to help you out in terms of picking places to live in.

hmmmmmmmmmmm

2007-08-12T18:00:00.000-04:00

ahhh..good food.finally.

the pink furry mitts and the long alien socks.cool!

beetoo here. it's now our third day in illinois, and we've managed to settle ourselves surprisingly quickly. we're now living in a semi-comfy room on campus, and we're just waiting to move into our real rooms. pffftt. feel like a nomad. been living out of my suitcase for the last few days. hopefully my body clock will adjust in a few days. been practically sleepless these past few nights, thus annoying beewon who's been sleeping like a baby.

we have a checklist of things to do here each day. today's agenda was shopping!! the only mall near our campus is marketplace, and it's good enough with shops like abercrombie & fitch, gap and not least, my MOST favorite shop, victoria's secret! (kidding!). contrary to what our officers will think, we did not spend unnecessarily( adalah sikit buy some silly stuff). we had to buy clothes and shoes suitable for school, for the very reason that we couldn't fit our wardrobe in our already bulging luggages when we moved to the US(excess gila udah!). we actually found some great bargains, because it's back to school sale! seriously, if only the sales back in Brunei were like this!

we managed to find a restaurant that serves rice!! it's seriously hard to find one that doesn't serve pork as well. it was heaven! it's the first time we managed to get real food in the last two days, unless you count microwaved mac & cheese as a real dinner. we can't get meat or chicken as yet, but we're crossing our fingers. seafood, seafood lah. antam saja.

i'm feeling sleepy now, and it's still 5.11 pm here! beewon won't let me sleep, giving the excuse "krg nda lagi betidur malam!". yawn. the bed's calling to me. just so i wont sleep, let me tell you the most doubtful things we each bought today:

myself:
pink furry mitts! (hey, it's for winter, and it was on sale! you cant beat $4.99 for mitts and a long scarf! total bargain)

beewon:
long blue socks( she calls them her blue alien socks, and it seriously does look out of this world)

here's where the post ends.(wake up, wake up).it's time for us to forage for more food. ciao. more later

greetings from illinois

2007-08-11T13:02:00.000-04:00

The Quad. basically just some nice park-ish place on campus. banyak tupai. i should catch one to barbeque for dinner.

this will be the first post from the horrible twins.

this is our second day in urbana champaign and it has been pretty amusing for me, uncomfortably shocking ehhh no sadang for freeze. we came without any money from the embassy or osm, and we were supposed to get a phone line and bank account pronto. almost kapih and slept on the streets lah. but we managed. thanks to our own foresight to bring cash and credit card, we managed. we're moving here and there, jumping hotels and riding in cabs, eating at McD's and enjoying the weather. its still summer here, so our brunei clothes are more than sufficient.

hints to oncoming scholars: bring lots and lots of cash and a credit card. we paid our $250 each for a contract phone line. we paid about 10 bucks for every cab ride. we paid about $5 to $10 to open up a savings account. we needed a credit card to hold our room rservations. we needed a credit card to check in our excess baggage. hah. basically u need to be rich to even just move in.

hmmmm will post more later. B2 is breathing down my neck. pfffffftttt.